Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
so let's talk penis.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
God, I missed his penis.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
