Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
