atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
