standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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