Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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