you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
