I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Are we still banned from the library?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
