I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
