Where is the hickey?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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