It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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