He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
