Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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