I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
