I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Randomize
