I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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