I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
Randomize
