I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
