he was CRYING into my vagina
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
