it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
