hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
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