Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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