he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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