Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
