a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
