I need help removing her.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
