I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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