Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Randomize
