Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize
