I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize
