No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I wear drunk well.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
