Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
