I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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