I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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