there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
