We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
