I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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