So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
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