I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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