They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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