if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
