She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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