Only a mothe r could love this liver
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
