no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Randomize
