I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
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