"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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