Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
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