Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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