wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
