just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
nutella sex= disaster
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
