I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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