Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
