Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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