the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
